hey! its sal’s blog!

Just a few more days left before i went back to school(INTEC la..) n today im
officially submitted  my letter to petronas that terminate my contract with them. Walking inside the highest building in msia (sigh…ketat gle security kat ctu!)
with my dad n went to level 9 in menara petronas 1, my heart throbbing in pain…ecece…But seriously, along the way to klcc, i kept questioning myself whether im choosing the right path or not. Will i be regretting myself in the future? Of course i do, n indeed even right now i already feel it.
N i pretty sure why i feel it that way.Its simply becoz im a materialistic person.
No doubt that i love money since i really love shopping.hehe. (parah la saper jd balak aku nnti…:P) Im pretty clear that if i quit petronas i am throwing such an expensive diamond into the sea. haha. Sometimes, ive been thinking on how im goin to react when meeting my schoolmate (esp rahim n other petronas fast track students) if there is a reunion. (oh..im hoping there will b a reunion for semashurian, but who’s gonna organize it??)Of course i will be jealous to see how successful they are working with petronas. N how much money they already had by that time compared to me who’ll be working with government and earning low salary. (hey, but i can have gov loan isnt it?? :P) n the dialogue below even came out in my dream, (i think so..)

"wah…dah mewah hidup ko skang!"

"tu la ko. saper suruh quit petronas. kalo tak, mesti ko jd cam aku gak. Kalo ko thn je lagi sikit, mesti ko dah jd chemical engineer yg berjaya"

OUch!!! hey, that’s hurt ok! But the "cepumas" question is, am I truly happy and satisfied being an engineer? Will i be a successful engineer?N can money cheer up my life?? After thinking like cracking my head, i just have to let off my materialistic thinking. Coz i do know myself n I know and quite clear where my strength is, what is my ability n what makes me happy. N try to haf a realistic thinking, im pretty sure, in the upcoming 10 years i may not afford to live in such a high tech condo or driving a black honda jazz or even wearing a sophisticated outfit from Zara.But i do realize, apart all these things, I can earn something that money cant buy. SATISFACTION. Below are some prediction that i made while i was in a disastrous dilemma. hehe.

PETRONAS as CHEMICAL ENGINEER

1. hidup mewah. in just 10 years, i can afford to buy a house, n car via cash dgn syarat aku tak boros la n haf a gud financial management.

2. Leh pakai baju2 yg cam best masa nak gi meeting ke apa.Lagi2 kalo meeting tu kat klcc. walaweh!splendid!  (actually i really adore the way org2 yg keje pejabat nih pakai. mcm lynette n bree desperate housewves pkai tuh. :P)

3. byk tmpat leh pegi.(Tp of course la ke tmpt2 yg ada minyak. :P) pendek kata, maybe dlm setahun, ntah brapa kali ntah leh tour satu semenanjung. alang2 dah tour tuh, singgah sebentar di tmpt2 best nak shopping. muahkaka

4. leh dpt tiket free or at least diskaun nak msk dwn filharmonic. hey, i do enjoy that kind of concert altho setakat ni tak penah lg tgk secara live.

5. Earn bonus yg sgt byk. Nani ckp, keje ngan pet, leh dpt bonus 6 bln. wow!! byk gle!

JPA as a PHARMACIST

1. After 6 years working with gov n earn as much experience needed, im going to haf my own pharmacy . Pasang angan2 nak bukak pharmacy mcm quardian kat mana2 hot shopping complex mcm mid ke, klcc ke. Kalo time break ke apa, leh gi window shopping at least. muahkaka!Sonok gle weh!

2. Dpt keje office hour. 9-5 everyday. mlm leh relax n tgk tv. Duh…i hate working late. aku nak tdo la!!!

3. I can b a businesswoman as well in the field where my interest is. ! Meeting lots of people n negotiate with them to make lots of profit. (Arituh masa belek2 buku biodata, skali terbaca aijud;s speech. semoga impian ko nk jd businesswoman tercapai. hehe. thanks aijud. tetbe ko ingtkan aku balik cita2 sampingan aku tuh. cane la aku bleh terlupa aku nak jd businesswoman?)

4. Masuk lab n doin research bout drugs n how they react in our body. Aiyaiyai. Im totally excited when talking bout bio n chemistry n combining both, its so AWESOME!!

5. Jd pharmacist tak la glamer mana mcm jd doc. but hey! without us, there will be no medicine for all those patients…n instead of farmasi yg biasa je, ada gak bidang pharmaceutical yg deal ngan cosmetic company. haha. who knows, leh dpt produk percuma ke dr maybelline ke, loreal ke, ok la…support brgn buatan msia. sendayu tinggi….AHAHA.(hey, tp iklan dia cool gak la.ala..ada satu tu yg perempuan pegang kasut kecik byk2 dlm tapak tgn. mcm gempak. ingtkan iklan apa. rupa2nya sendayu tinggi.)

6. n of course, aku nak gak sedaya upaya wat research fasal ubat yg leh atasi resdung nih 100%. ey…rasa nak cabut je idung ni ble resdung dtg. sakit + gatal nye, ya allah, tuhan je la tahu. kalo setakat idung je takpe. ni ngan tekak, mata, kepala sumer. adoi…kalo resdung menyerang,sila pastikan anda mempunyai cukup tisu n eye mo.

Haha. inilah prediction by an unmatured teenager yg br 18 thn nak kenal erti idup. Some of them might be true, some might not. But i want to believe, that REZEKI ADA DI MANA2. n this is the prinsipal that i want to hold on now. becoz i know, my future will not be as bright as others n i may not earn as much money as some of them can, but i want to believe, I still can be a successful person in the future although from a different angle like others view. I believe that i can do better in this field compared to engineering. I believe that as long as im satisfied n happy with life, money doesnt mean anything. n i want to believe what i believe.

p/s: herm…i’ve told this to anna.

"anna, nnti ble ko dah keje ke, or dah smpai aussie ke, ko crkan aku chemical engineer lelaki yg keje ngan petronas tau. susah2 sgt kalo tak nak regret ngan choice yg aku dah wat nih, aku kawin je la ngan dia. okay tak? erm..kalo dia pon gi new zea lg bagus.tak kesah la. jnji chem engne n petronas. arasso? "

haha. hope that this wish might come true. live happily ever after mcm cte fairytale. ahaks!

Bingung aku dibuatnye..Nak idup senang ke nak kejar cita2? mana yg lebih penting? Kalo nak pk rationally, stay ngan petronas insyallah terjamin masa depan. idup pon senang la gak n semua org tak deny benda tuh.

Tp, kalo dh dpt option utk wat somethin yg kita minat dr dlu, tp risk dia, takkan idup senang mcm apa yg dah ada skang, which is the better decision?

Kalo aku amik jpa, mmg la sonok dpt wat sumthin yg kte ske.blaja bio sumer. n kalo susah mcm mana pon, kita dah ske, kita ttp gak try utk wat yg terbaik. tu lumrah la kan. but then, nnti tak leh idup senang mana. balik msia kene keje ngan kerajaan. pastuh, kalo ada rezki bleh la nak bukak farmasi sendrik. islam pon ckp, kalo berniaga, mmg la plg cpt nak kaya. tp, berniaga pon ada risk nye sendirk. huhu. nnti ble buat reunion sumer, tgk member dah pkai keta bmw ke, pakai baju zara, mng sumer, time tuh mesti regret sbb dulu drop pet. kalo tak, mesti aku pon cam diorg. hah. materialistik thinking nih mmg tak leh lari gak nye. although humble mana pon some1, tp when it comes to this situation, mesti gak terpk benda tuh. sbb dah ada peluang keemasan, tp tolak sbb nak kejar cita2.

tak deny la hidup ngan petronas idup mewah.masa foundation nih tak rasa la lg. tp, ble dah kat ovc tuh br nmpk beza. dr segi accomodation sumer 1st class. tp, kalo blaja pon, ati tak tenang sbb kena force diri blaja sumthin yg tak ske. m3. haha. kalo dah tak minat, or blaja ngan terpaksa,equation senang mana pon nmpk susah.tp betul ke m3 nih susah sgt? or is it sbb aku slama nih  under pressure je yg wat aku rasa m3 tuh susah? tp, kalo dah nama nak wat engineering, mmg la kena deal ngan m3.tak leh lari.kalo drop pet, mcm sia2 je 5 bln blaja. alang2 dah half way through, baik habiskan je. tinggal 5 bln je lg pon. betul tuh. masalahnya. ada harapan lg ke?kalo keadaan sama n still tak berubah. result tak improve pon, silap2 aribulan tak leh fly. lg malang kalo dah grad esk, tak dpt keje ngan pet.hah, tak kaya gak. terkapai2 gak idup cr tempat kerja.  so, apa yg patut dibuat? teruskan cita2? atau grab this opportunity nak jd kaya yg bukan sumer org leh dpt peluang nih.

persoalannya, kenapa duit ni penting sgt? pentingla. sbb dunia skang nih, harga barang sumer dah naik. 10 thn akan dtg tak tau la cane. nasi lemak yg skang nih $1.50 ntah2 leh jd $10. ngan tanggungjawab nak take care family lg. jd anak n cucu sulung bukan senang. byk responsible. nak tanggung adik2 blaja lg, nak jaga finance family lg. tak lama lg, parents pon dah pencen. ni adik2 nak masuk u sumer, saper nak bg duit blanja? takkan nak beban kat mak ayah lg? kena la tolong2 sket. sudahnya, kalo takde duit, tak leh nak tolong, mcm mana nak galas tanggungjawb jd anak sulung?

penin dibuatnya. masa dah suntuk. semoga cepatla petunjuk allah nih smpai. bantulah hambaMu ini ya Allah. aku mengharapkan petunjukmu dgn segera. lagi tangguh wat keputusan, lagi teruk natijahnye nnti. penin, bingung n nak pengsan… aiyak!